Sunday, September 28, 2008

It all makes sense now

When I was pregnant with Kate, a “must have” pregnancy item (also classified as one more way to suck money out of unsuspecting parents who will buy anything that is recommended) was a set of headphones that you put on your belly so the baby was exposed to Beethoven, Bach, and Mozart. To the babies whose parents bought into that hype, I must offer my condolences. I am sure that they were born wearing sweater vests with a Harvard acceptance letter in hand.

While I didn’t buy the whole headphone nonsense, one could deduce that some exposure to music may be beneficial for an unborn child. I am a fairly black and white person, which often means I take things to the extreme. When something is recommended by the professional parenting people, I don’t take it lightly. We don’t one-cheek (half-ass) our responsibilities around this place. So, I did what any self-respecting pregnant person would do – I hauled myself directly to the source. I attended three concerts while I was pregnant for Kate. In reality, it was less, “Oh, I’m pregnant, let’s go to a concert!” and more “We went to a concert and I happened to be pregnant.” However this is my blog and I can tell the story the way I want, so let’s just say I made a huge sacrifice for my unborn child’s musical development.

Kate was able to “hear” Martina McBride, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Keith Urban during this time. Disclaimer: That sentence in no way shape or form should be reflective of my musical taste. There is a story behind each, I promise.

Recently I had a startling revelation. Does this possibly explain … the dancing? What have I done? Damn (once again) those parenting book people. Is it possible that her love of music and dancing really was the result of some osmosis in the womb? Did our time on the concert circuit result in a habit of this magnitude? I think I am on to something here.

As I pondered that thought, I had a moment of panic thinking of what really could go wrong if it were true. Just in case, I’ve made a list of places I will avoid during subsequent pregnancies, lest we suffer the consequences: strip clubs, liquor stores, the Republican National Convention, blackjack tables, a Jerry Springer live taping, and nascar races.

Can you think of anything I’ve forgotten? I am not taking any risks here people.

1 comment:

Andi said...

Wow! I think you are on to something. You might consider: Fox News, Tobacco shops, Head shops, Dunkin Donuts, Tattoo/Piercing Parlors, and sorrrrrry.............................Starbucks :)