Funny creatures

My friend Angela over at Healthy Wealthy and Wise Woman ends her posts with a daily “eavesdrop”, which are often some of the funniest things I read all day. Angie and her husband Glen are two of the funniest people I know and when it comes to people-watching, they have mad skills. Inherent skills and a mastery that I am unable to compete with. In fact, it was Glen that schooled me in the game of “guess their occupation” while we waited for a flight in the San Diego airport. Aren’t you glad that I clarified that we were waiting for the flight in an airport of all places?

The concept is simple, you scope out oblivious people walking around minding their own business, insert some imagination and !PRESTO! guess their occupation. From what I recall, we observed quite a few librarians, strippers, sanitation engineers, and proctologists. In hindsight, I wonder what occupation people would assume of me … and don’t you DARE tell me Angela from The Office. I do feel compelled to mention that I do not typically travel to the other side of the country in the company of someone else’s husband (especially one titled The Best Husband In The World). Angela’s husband was actually my boss in the hotel job that I had a number of years ago – the one that drove me to the loony bin – um, I mean the one that I loved. Glen, it wasn’t you, it was totally me.

This week a number of exchanges have made me think of the little eavesdrops shared on Angela’s blog. I thank her for the reminder that funny really is all around us. The following examples were not eavesdrops, they were texts sent to me by three different friends this week. These shall serve as examples of what keeps me entertained on a daily basis, the fact that you should question the company I keep, and the fact that I have The Best Friends In The World.

“Dude, I love your kid AND her dirty ass Baby Kate. Baby Kate has some major street cred coming from the ghetto and all.”

“Tin man! How’s the heart? Do you need me to travel to Oz and get you a new one, cuz I totally will.”

“So, I almost have my PhD (errr, in Technical Education) and I watch House every week. I told my family Doc that must make me at least as qualified as his PA.”

I loved each of these comments so much that for a brief second, I contemplated using them as my Facebook status of the moment … until I was hit with the reality of WAIT – ALL THOSE PEOPLE KNOW ME. So, instead, they are my gift to you.

The best part about going to Cleveland

While I was in Cleveland, I was able to meet up with the kind and lovely Tia. I’m quite behind the times, as this was my first encounter with meeting a blogger from "the internet". I mean, she seemed normal and I do consider myself a pretty decent judge of online-character. Take for instance the example that I would totally want to hang out with me if I were you. Besides, according to Doctors #2 and #5, I was good as dead anyway, so why not live on the edge a little?

What poor Tia did not know is that I suffer from an insane disease called THE INABILITY TO MAKE ANY DECISIONS WHEN IT COMES TO DINING OUT WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. Don’t get me wrong, I can make instantaneous decisions about compensation redesign, realignment of span of control, or areas to reduce labor expenditures. But where to eat? And when? I suddenly morph into an incomprehensible being that certainly is not qualified to nor should be trusted to pick out her socks in the morning. Imagine my surprise when I learned that Tia suffers from a form of the same disease … I think over the course of 12 hours we utilized about 1G of the 3G network as our smart phones handled about 1,200 emails that went something like this: Well, what works for you? Where would you like to meet? No, it is okay, you pick. Well, what works best for you? Should we meet somewhere near you? No, really, what time works for you? Anytime is fine with me. No, really I’m flexible, what works best for you?

My favorite part of the email exchange is where I apologize to Tia for inconveniencing her because “I’m quite certain I’m making this more difficult than it needs to be.” Tia so flatteringly replies that it is not a problem at all, that I have enough to worry about for the time being, and she “almost feels like she is meeting someone famous.” I am going to save that email and share it with all of my friends when they are too busy washing their hair to be in my company. Don’t you know who you are missing out on? I’m ALMOST SOMEONE FAMOUS, just in case you didn’t get the memo.

All kidding aside, Tia, it was fantastic to meet you! Thank you for breakfast, for great conversation, wonderful company, and starting a really stressful morning off in a perfectly wonderful way. It was certainly my pleasure!