Saturday, July 11, 2009

Too good for the whole imaginary play thing

On Friday, poor Miss Kate (and don't forget POOR MOTHER ... it is always bad for the MOTHER) spent many miserable hours having a test performed at the hospital. It is one of those things that I’m not really ready to talk about. You know, ignore it and it either isn’t happening, or will likely go away, right? In all honesty, we are hoping that it is just more of a precautionary measure to assure us that nothing significant is wrong and we can continue looking at the issues of the more insignificant variety. The test itself wasn’t really the issue, it was just an MRI. The issue was the IV they had to inject … which was the prelude to the sedative … as the preface to the test. If you aren't aware, MRI's require you to lie completely still for the duration of the test. Keeping Kate still to complete an MRI is incomprehensible. Just envision the Road Runner on speed. Sedation blog to follow. It deserves its own. Enough said.

Restraining a three-year old who is screaming for her mom so hard that her eyes are starting to get bloodshot is about as fun as a colonoscopy. After they finished inserting the IV and taped her arm to the splint to secure the IV, she gave me the look that told me I was most assuredly not to be trusted EVER AGAIN. The nurses on the floor were surprised by Kate’s will. Once she calmed down, they were extra careful to stay on her good side, recognizing that would make all of our lives easier from that point forward. I also suspect that earth shattering shrieks from the Peds floor doesn’t do much to calm the other pint-sized patients who are being falsely assured by their well intending parents.

Kate could hold a record for the most adaptable kid, should such a contest ever exist. However, once you stick an IV in her arm and keep her in a hospital bed for hours, her cooperation plummets faster than the NYSE on Enron notice. As the nurse approached Kate’s bed to wheel her down to the elevator, she sensed Kate’s apprehension and suspicion immediately. She was skilled in making the bed-ride an adventure, but once we arrived at our destination and parked, the Kate-Freak-Out-Meter was rapidly climbing.

In a distraction maneuver, she grabbed Kate’s doll.

NURSE: “What’s her name?”

KATE: “Baby Kate.”

NURSE: “Awww. Baby Kate. Just like you. Your name is Kate.”

Blank stare

NURSE: “Oh look. Baby Kate has blond hair. She has blond hair like you!”


NURSE: “Such pretty strawberry blonde hair your baby Kate has.”

Incredulous look

NURSE: “Baby Kate, you’ve got such pretty, pretty blonde hair. It’s princess hair, just like Kate has!”

Incredulous look

KATE: “No, it’s just plastic hair.”


Rachel Cotterill said...

I'm sure the plastic hair will be forgiven once she's home again. Hope the MRI didn't find anything serious - they're kind of scary, I think I'd've preferred to be sedated when I had mine!

Call Me Cate said...

Oh boy, that Kate of yours is a feisty one. Must be the "K" in her name instead of the "C". So much more strong-willed.

I wonder if the nurse was thinking "oh, look, Baby Kate's head spins round and round while she's possessed, just like you!"

Hope all turns out well, not just the MRI but beyond.

Claire said...

I hope Kate is feeling okay and that you are too. It's so stressful to have any sort of test done, much less involving an IV. Good grief. Our girls are so similar, because as I read, I was reminded of the time Laura was little and needed a catheter. She was about 18 months and they called in the biggest, baddest male nurse they had to hold her down, and he was unsuccessful. I was oddly proud of her.

I will be thinking about Kate, hoping that this was just a precaution and that she is doing well. And big hugs to Momma for having to deal with this.

Jeanne said...

It's never wise to insult a patient's intelligence -- especially if the patient is 3 years old.

Ann's Rants said...

Ok, you found the hilarious side as always.

I am so so so so sorry you both/all had to endure that. Hope that is the beginning and the end of a complete non-issue.


Oh, and if you haven't figured it out already Lobbycon is paying $100 to go to the Blogher lobby, the parties, the keynotes...just not the sessions I think.

Oh, and "fisty" is a very inappropriate word verification

Grand Pooba said...

Hahaha! I can tell Kate had probably HAD IT by then!

I hope everything turns out okay!

Mommy said... we are both going through MRI-hell, huh? I'll be thinking of you and hope Kate and Laurel's results are both normal.

Anonymous said...

I sure hope for you and Kate that everything is good. And hopefully no more IV's! Poor baby! ANd like you said poor Mommy too! It's absolutely heartbreaking to have to watch our children go through things that cause them pain. It's just no fun!