Tuesday, May 5, 2009

RU4Real? WTH? SOS!

Last week, Craig nonchalantly informed me that he could no longer use his cell phone for texting. He has had a work cell phone for almost as long as I can remember, so much so that I sometimes forget it isn’t technically his. Apparently they’ve switched business plans and the new plan does not offer free texting. I am not sure why the regression, it is sort of like sending your DSL back because you’d prefer that good ole’ dial up connection.

When he shared this earth shattering news, I shrugged, asked why, and then moved on. Initially I did not recognize the impending crisis. Since that time, I’ve changed my mind and have determined that it is cruel and unusual punishment and I should be seeking damages for restricting me to such barbaric means of communication. Texting provides an easy way to ask a simple question, without all of the unnecessary pleasantries expected in a phone call. Texting is the perfect accompaniment to any multi-taskers agenda. I mean, how else can you sit in a meeting and make dinner plans? How else do you keep in contact with a significant other who often isn’t in the same zip code? How else do you delegate tasks to an unsuspecting husband who can't debate very well via text?

Our texts are never-ending, but generally go something like this:

You getting Kate, or I?

What’s for dinner?
Dunno. Go somewhere?

Have you left yet?
Yes, be there in 45.
K, see u there.

I think I am going to die.
Call 911 before you do.
But I can’t lift the phone to my ear.

Swine flu feeling better?
Oh, go back to bed.

In a matter of two or three texts, we were able to coordinate travel arrangements for our toddler, finalize dinner plans, synchronize our schedules to arrive home together, save my life after a day at the gym, and offer treatment and remedy for a pandemic flu. Does life get any better than that? So, instead of the benefit of these micro-conversations, designed to minimize interruption and formalities, we have regressed to phone conversations.

{Ring, ring, ring}

CRAIG: Hello
ME: Hi, how are you? I don’t really have time to listen to your answer, but I am supposed to ask, right?
CRAIG: Fine, how are you? I don’t really care, I need to get back to work, but you asked, so I’ll ask.
ME: What are you doing? Seriously, could I be asking a more ridiculous question?
CRAIG: Working. She is blonde. She called me at work, what does she think I am doing at 9:30 on a Tuesday morning. What are you doing?
ME: Um, working. Did he really just ask me that question? How annoying is this?
CRAIG: So, what’s up? Why is she calling me, my boss is standing here waiting for me, I’m hoping this is important.
ME: When are you coming home this week, Thursday or Friday? Don't act irritated I called, I am the one handling life here without any assistance from you thankyouverymuch.
CRAIG: Thursday I think. Couldn’t this have waited until later?
ME: Okay, thanks. Is it acceptable to hang up now, or do I need to proceed with some additional conversation?
CRAIG: Okay, loveya, bye.

I much preferred:

Home Thursday or Friday?
Thursday I think.
Cool, call u later.

I’m revolting, boycotting the text-ban. I don’t think I am going to survive this torture.


Leslie Jackson said...

I am so with you. My hubby's job just got rid of Nextels and are only on cell phones. That meant I needed to get a new phone so hubby could call me for FREE from the Verison network that the company is on. Now I have TEXT, but he doesn't (any more). Neither of us have Nextel...so we have to have the long conversations now too....

Sometimes life is easier when you don't have to hear their voice! lol

shortmama said...

Ugh I so agree. Texting has changed everything. I hardly have to talk to hubs all day now. Used to feel like I was on the phone all day with useless chatter. But he has a work and personal cell phone, this way I dont have to worry about their cell plan.

Kara said...

I have never sent a single text... But, the hubs and I both have iPhones, so we just email each other :-)

Isabella said...

I just tried to picture what life would be like if my husband didn't have text capability. Whoa...not cool. We're just like you guys - so many decisions made through 2-3 texts every day.

I'm sorry you've had to resort to the regular phone calls. In the rare occasion I have to call my husband, we are both short and to the point on the phone. If anyone were to hear both sides of the conversation, they'd probably think we were mad at each other. :)

I just heard of a new product called "Peek." It's only purpose is for email and texting. I don't know much about it, but it seems to make a lot of sense for people who already have phone plans.

Good luck with the text-ban (and sorry about the unnecessarily long comment)!

Call Me Cate said...

Yup, I hear ya. Thought my problem is that Joe has a Blackberry and everything is set to vibrate. Therefore, he has no idea if it's a call, an email, or a text. And therefore he ignores them all. Not very helpful.

Ann's Rants said...

Hilarious, and I agree with you 100%

Anonymous said...

I've never been a big texter - I think I'm inspired to start.

Good luck.

C. Beth said...

If my husband's company ever switches to a cell phone carrier that actually works in their building...I think we'll start texting a lot. For now we keep having the EXACT CONVERSATION you typed out there.

Michel said...

OMG you have my deepest most heartfelt sypmathy!

I cannot STAND talking on the phone. People can tell if you're being sarcastic and if you are not listening.

Can you instant message at work?

Jeanne said...

I've never gotten into texting, but I can see where it works well for situations like yours. Any chance of getting some sort of self-payed supplementary plan?

Currently Untitled said...

you should start ringing the people who made the decision to switch and just constantly bug them with small talk till they change back. lol

i have an award for you over at my blog, come over and join the party!

Jodi said...

I know you usually don't do awards, but there are two waiting for you on my blog if you want them!!!!

Mel said...

Serious protests are in order! I don't think our relationship would be as good as it is if my boyfriend lost his texting capabilities!