Monday, April 6, 2009

The epitome of pathetic

Just look at this face, doesn't it just ooze heartache? This was taken a moment before we headed to the Pediatrician's office today.

Me: Kate, smile.

Kate: I can't.

Me: Smile Kate, show the camera your sick face.

Kate: Mom, I can't.

(I think she looks concerned that I am even asking)

Within moments, the Pediatrician reviewed her symptoms and promptly diagnosed her with Rotavirus. Right when I thought we were entering the safe zone (no fever, yay!), I was informed that as long as she is symptomatic, she is still contagious. Apparently we should be thrilled to see it run its course in seven days. Yes, that means three more days (if we are lucky) of pure hell. Since my luck errs on the side of NON-EXISTANT, I am guessing we will be on the 10-day plan.

There is no medicine, nor any magic cure. The only thing we can control is trying to stave off dehydration, which has been proving ineffably difficult. The Pediatrician offered many suggestions of things to try to hydrate Kate, which is great in theory, but not so helpful when the kid refuses to eat or drink. Each attempt to bring liquids to her mouth resulted in a screech, followed by the statement, “My belly huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts. I’ll try it later.” Yes, yes, that was the strange sound you heard when you were busy attending to your afternoon affairs. I am sure it registered on the Richter Scale.

Leaving the Pediatricians office, I had to directive to proceed to the ER if Kate did not pee by 10:00 p.m. tonight. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Since I was flying solo in the parent world, and operating on a collective 10 hours of sleep over the past three days, the last thing I was signing up for was a trip to the ER. I was going to make that kid drink, even if it sucked the life out of me.

Me: Kate, just have a tiny sip.

Kate: No!

Me: Kate, just one little drink.

Kate: My belly hurts! I don’t want to! (insert earth shattering cries here)

Me: Kate, do you know what happens if you don’t drink?

Kate: What?

Me: You have to go to the hospital.

Kate: I don’t want to drink any-ting. (in exasperation)

Me: Do you know what they will do at the hospital?

Kate: What?

Me: They will give you a shot.

Kate: I’ll have a little drink of water.

And that would be how I avoided the ER tonight. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I threw my change in the cup labeled KATE’S FUTURE THERAPY FUND that has a permanent home on the kitchen counter.


Lisa said...

water ice blocks- any flavour
Lisa xx

Anonymous said...

My poor baby. Please tell her Aunt Sherry wants her to take "turtle drinks" like she at Sherry's house Sunday. Ask her to show you. That will trick her for a moment or two.
Sorry to hear this. Call if you need a break. I can run over.

Call Me Cate said...

Oh no. I'm sorry to hear you're not near the end of this and that there's no magic fix. I hope all your bad luck in the past maybe will even out with some good luck this time.

C. Beth said...

Poor kiddo, poor mama.

Here's hoping she's back to her crazy self soon--and that Daddy's back very soon to help shoulder the load.

Claire said...

Poor Mommy and Kate. Of course it has to happen when you are on your own. I hope she feels better soon and you can finally get some sleep.

dizzblnd said...

Poor baby. I am glad you managed to get something in her. I am sure the hospital threat will only work for so long, so I hope she feels better sooner rather than later.. hang in there!

Ann's Rants said...

That picture is priceless. I think she might be even cuter than I originally thought.

Thank goodness we have these humor blogs that force us to turn hell into hell-arioius, or we'd just lose our shit and cry all the time.

Ok, we do that too, don't we ;)

Here's to the 5-day plan!

Mommy said...

I'm so sorry, Lyndsay. Dehydration is a very frustrating thing to fight. Here's to hoping you only have three more days of it. :)

Anonymous said...

awwww... poor baby. :(
hopefully things get better soon!

Special K said...

I totally hear you. When my son won't pee for extended periods of time I tell him he will get an infection on their privates (because he will!) and that gets him to high-tail it to the bathroom.

This totally suckeroos.

Jeanne said...

Anybody who claims that motherhood is a series of unending joyous moments has never fought dehydration. Chin up, you'll make it!

Jodi said...

Desperate times call for desperate measures! I hope she's feeling better!