Kate went from drawing random scribbles to drawing people, literally overnight. That is how this kid operates. Potty trained in one day. Transitioned to a big kid bed in one day. Gave up her pacifier in one day. There is an example of self-determination at its finest. Last month she sat down and started drawing people, lots and lots of people. Like a good mom, I took one of her photos to work, so I could proudly display it in my office. That’s what moms do, right? I couldn’t find it in the parental instruction manual, but it felt like the thing to do. That might have been prompted by Kate screaming in my ear, “Take this to work mom and hang it on your office door!”
My boss came into my office last week and kept looking at Kate’s picture. He then proceeded to assess the meaning of the photo by reading the facial expressions she had drawn. I saw figures vaguely resembling people. He saw all sorts of things that someone with multiple psychology degrees would see. He has sort of ruined me forever, because now I tend to psychoanalyze children’s artwork. I think I was better off NOT in the know.
It was a timely lesson, I guess. This was what Kate drew a couple of nights ago:
I’ve consulted my inner psychologist for this interpretation. Let’s just ignore the fact that they lack bodies and their appendages are sprouting from their heads. My five-second training course didn’t quite get that deep. What we have here is a family who thought they had all been taking Prozac for quite some time. Unfortunately, they didn’t realize that they were in the placebo group. Despite being angry at the world, they are mysteriously close to one another, showing strong emotional connections. Or, it may have been a case of, You Are Going To Stand Next To Each Other For This Picture and PRETEND Like You Like Each Other whether you mean it or not dammit. Someone needs to give these people some Christmas cheer and remove the stick that appears to have been lodged firmly in each of their butts. It makes me want to reach into the picture and give them all a little hug. They need to hear that life really isn't all that bad.
Oh, do you think the photo was a fluke? I’ll introduce you to her second drawing of the night. By the way, could someone please call Kramer and tell him my family has stolen his 'do?
I’m hoping her future teachers don’t pay too much attention to her artwork. Thank goodness she is seriously the world's happiest and most well-adjusted kid, or I’d be concerned, really, really concerned.
A Tour of My Parents’ House
1 day ago