Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Put a Band-Aid on it and call me in the morning

Last summer we went to visit my friend Tiffany (Hi Tiffany!) in North Carolina. At that time, her son was completely obsessed with Band-Aids. I remember thinking how weird it was, I mean how does a four-year old get a Band-Aid fetish? What were they raising, some kind of hypochondriac? Tiffany joked that they had to buy Band-Aids on every shopping trip and she was constantly looking for new designs. The bandange demand steadily increased as her son was not content with only one Band-Aid per injury or per alleged injury. One morning when I got up, he had 4 or 5 on his legs. Upon closer inspection, I realized they were Jesus Band-Aids. I kid you not. I am certain there isn't anything stranger … more freaky … more sacrilegious … than a preschooler sporting Jesus in Band-Aid form.

Suffice to say, we’ve now entered the Band-Aid phase. It doesn’t matter the scope, seriousness, or lack of physical injury – it demands a BAND-AID. We have Band-Aids in our purse, wallet, glove box, and diaper bag lest we be caught somewhere in public without a Band-Aid to squelch the screams. Someone looked at you wrong? Here is a Band-Aid. Hair blew in your eye? Here is a Band-Aid. An imaginary bug bit your leg? Here is a Band-Aid. Chopped off a finger? Here is a Band-Aid.

Through this sticky, hair pulling, journey, I’ve learned a few things:
  • No matter how large or small the catastrophe, a Band-Aid cures pretty much everything.
  • Whoever made the tattoo Band-Aids should be shot. On second thought, let’s cover them in those Band-Aids, and then require them to freak out and demand the Band-Aids be taken off. Then, we’ll start peeling them off, really slowly, with the skin still attached.
  • When you see a kid older than yours doing something weird, just consider it a warning.
  • Babies are born with natural instincts for food, warmth, sleep … and Band-Aids.


Andi said...

Thanks for the tip! I wish I would have had one Sunday morning when we were making an attempt at a leisurely breakfast out at a local restaurant. I would have happily given one (or 20 or whatever it took)to the little one next to us screaming at the top of her lungs. I will put a stash in my purse for future occasions. I am sure the parents will be grateful for the help:)

Amy said...

I should have mentioned something to you when I saw the warning signs-she asked for a band-aid when she was at my house, her toe was about to fall off do to some type of major injury. I looked saw no blood, kissed it and told her she would be fine...then realized I kissed her nasty stinky foot (no offense, all feet are nasty and stinky). Next time I'll reach for the band-aid.