Wanted: funny thoughts, a pro-bono personal assistant, chocolate, and uncomplicated relationships

There are few things in life that make me cringe more than the thought of become a statistic. When I first started blogging, I found numerous data taunting the fail rate of new bloggers, many discontinuing the habit after mere months. Undeterred, I pressed on, fully confident in my ability to defy those odds. Slowly, I went from posting daily to a few times a week, to once a week, to a new pathetic low of EIGHTEEN days without a blog post.

That does not mean I haven’t forgotten about my lovely blog over the course of the last EIGHTEEN days. In fact, I have had nothing but great intentions to write. Actually finding the time to do it and acquiring a clear enough mind to do so intelligibly has been the challenge. On second thought, if I am waiting for a clear mind and intelligibility, we might as well all give up now, right?

Frankly, you don’t want to listen to me right now anyway. I’m overworked, sleep deprived, knee deep in unfulfilled obligations, needing some quality friend time, and having a hard time being my positive, cheerful, optimistic self. AS IF. Okay, better stated, I’m crankier than normal and trying to make sure I don’t drop any of the 3 million balls I’m currently juggling, all while trying to refrain from punching people in the face. I am mentality picturing the blogging entries that could have filled these past EIGHTEEN days and feeling relieved for the art of self-control.

But you didn’t come hear to read about that, did you. Heck, I couldn’t be witty if you bribed me with front row Jack Johnson tickets right now. Aren’t you glad you stopped by?

However, I do still exist and that has to count for something, right?

Confession: I am a comment whore

I love nothing more than getting comments on the posts that I write. That is absolutely counterintuitive to my typical self, which seeks to avoid any recognition or feedback on anything that I do. I am one of those people who would almost forgo the raise associated with my annual performance review if it meant that I didn’t have to sit there and suffer through a review. You know, one filled with horrible torture, like GREAT JOB and ROLE MODEL and SUCCESS. Yeah, I’ve got issues. So, it is slightly disconcerting that I enjoy comments on my blog so much.

Where is Freud when you need him? Let’s be honest, what good would Freud be anyway? We can all just assume that somehow it is related to repressed memories from childhood, right? Or maybe in some previous life I was a motivational speaker who was heckled off the stage?

Anyway, I have to admit, I am lousy at leaving comments. I just am. I read a laundry-list of great blogs every day. Rarely do I leave a comment. I am not sure why. Sometimes I can’t think of anything clever. Othertimes I am on my phone, which doesn’t allow comment posts. Other times, I can’t quite figure how to disguise that pop-up window on my browser to look like work. You know, since I am at work and all.

That does not mean that I do not love certain blogs, or certain posts. I like some blogs so much that my day wouldn’t quite be the same without them. First of all, I love to read. Second of all, I love to laugh. Third, I love things that are well written. I’ve been a reading junkie all of my life; you know, the kid that would wake up on a Saturday morning and read in my room. Is someone searching for my pocket protector? I seem to have misplaced it along with my TI-83. Blogs are so much better though, because in most cases, they don’t end. Let’s be honest, how annoying is it to find yourself totally invested in a book, the storyline, the characters, then it is over. O-V-E-R, over. Are you kidding me? I am totally wrapped up in their life and they are gone. Poof.

What, are you thinking that requires another psychoanalysis? I can’t trust you people with any secrets, can I?

My point? I swear, I have a point. My point is that while I don’t comment often, I have many bloggers I love and many posts that make my day. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve added a great little section over on the right side of my blog to highlight links that I love. It's right there above my godawful mug shot. I encourage you to check each of them out when I add a new link. I won’t disappoint, I swear. If I do, then maybe your taste is in question. I'm just sayin'

If you ever have a post of your own, or someone else’s that you’d like me to check out, email me at lyndsay@iusedtobewitty.com, or leave me a comment. It's my one-cheek (half-assed) way of making up for my comment-delinquency. I pinky-swear to read all of your recommendations. I’ve got to warn you though, I am pretty damn picky.

Okay, I’ve sufficiently avoided homework long enough, back to the grind!