Last weekend, we headed out of town to do some shopping. While the purpose was to obtain some apparel, I cannot resist the urge to visit a decent grocery store whenever one is in the general vicinity. I’m a food junkie. So, I found a way to work trips to Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods into the agenda. You city dwellers just don’t know how lucky you are. I was slightly more excited to go to Trader Joe’s than is healthy, considering it is just a grocery store and all.
When we arrived, Kate was insistent upon going in and bringing Baby Kate with us. You all remember sweet, darling , Baby Kate, don’t you? If you don’t, please click here (scroll to the second picture). Don’t worry, I’ll wait. The story isn’t nearly as spectacular without being able to envision the psychotic bride-of-chuckie looking doll that Kate is obsessed with.
Almost immediately upon entering the store, Kate found a Kate-sized shopping cart. Her interest in Baby Kate waned as she attempted to tally how many ankles she could mangle with her newfound cart. Somehow in the middle of this exchange, Baby Kate ended up sitting in my cart. Now, there are times that Kate is well behaved while shopping and there are times she is not. If you were at this Trader Joe’s on Saturday, you would have witnessed that it was a time where the check mark would have indisputably been placed in the “NOT” column. After the second aisle, Craig and Kate miraculously vanished into the parking lot and I enjoyed the rest of my shopping trip in peace. Well, until I entered the next aisle.
Enter creepy dude; six-foot tall, burly, intimidating, sunglass wearing creepy dude. He kept looking at me and the weird factor was increased by the fact that he was wearing sunglasses. So, I knew he was looking at me, but I couldn’t really tell what exactly he was looking at. This continued for the next few aisles. My discomfort multiplied exponentially with each additional encounter. The anxiety was less I THINK YOU MIGHT ACCOST ME IN A DARK ALLEY fear and more I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE FORGOTTEN TO TAKE YOUR MEDICATION TODAY fear.
Finally, in the wine aisle (where else, right?), Creepy Dude says, “Excuse me?” I look up and his brows are raised over the brim of his glasses and he is just pointing. I hesitate for a moment, waiting for some words to exit his mouth. Smile, nod, and tilt my head to the left, “Yes?” He continues to point. “Yes?” Nothing. I quizzically turn to follow his nonverbal directive. That is when I see that his finger is pointing directly at my shopping cart. Here I am sans child, with a homicidal looking doll occupying the child seat of my cart.
He looks and me and waits. His confusion is evident.
“What?” I say shrugging my shoulders. “I’m sorry, was she bothering you? She’s just been so ill behaved lately, “I exclaim indignantly while I push my cart away.