Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I should probably be embarrassed about this, but I am not.

Is that concerning?

For years, Craig has taken great delight in mercilessly teasing me about my toes. They don’t bother me nearly as much as they bother him, and that alone bothers him much more than it should. Apparently people whose toe next to their big toe is longer than the big toe (no matter how I word that, it just doesn't come out right) deserve much scorn, shame, and embarrassment. Yes, my second toe … pointer toe … second in command to the big toe … in indeed the longest toe I have.

(Raise eyebrows here and crinkle your upper lip slightly)

I’m telling you this for a reason, I swear. Well, besides affirming to the world that I am even stranger than you initially thought and that Craig and I apparently have nothing better to talk about than my feet on a regular basis. Our conversations regarding my feet typically go like this:

CRAIG: Your feet are so weird.

ME: Come on Craig – you know what they say about people with toes like mine.

CRAIG: Um, nope. That you are weird.

ME: Yes, you do. Remember we have this conversation on a way too regular basis because you are freakishly obsessed with pointing out my unique attributes.

CRAIG: The weird ones?

ME: Ugh. It means that I am a LEADER, not a FOLLOWER.

CRAIG: No, it means you have square feet. You should just buy shoes, throw away the shoes and wear the boxes.

On a fairly regular basis, Craig returns to teasing me about my toes. A few years ago, in an attempt to irritate him even more about my toes, I realized something priceless. Do you know the dexterity you have with toes like this? I can expertly pick something up off the floor, with my feet, without even bending over. Craig can heckle me all he wants, but that is skill and is the epitome of multitasking and laziness all perfectly wrapped up in one. It also assists is a variety of stealth missions where retrieving an item from the floor, unbeknownst to others is an advantage.

Oh, what? How did that get up here? I don’t know. Did you pick it up? No, you didn’t bend over? Nope, me neither. Odd.

Not that I would ever think about actually using my toes to pick up things, but it is nice to know that I could, you know, if I ever needed to. Quadbidextrious? It’s been years since I’ve utilized this skill to annoy my husband. In fact, I sort of forgot about it in the arsenal of things I use TO DRIVE MY HUSBAND TO DELERIUM.

Until I turned around on vacation and saw this.

And moments later, this:

I watched as Craig looked at her. There was no way I could convince him that I hadn’t taught her that just to annoy her father. I swear, it must BE IN THE GENES. Who knows what that means for the poor kid? Teaching her to do that would have been sheer genius and there is no way I would be denying it if I could take the slightest bit of credit for it. Believe me.

And all my dear, dear husband could say was, “That’s great Lyndsay. She inherited your FINGERTOES!”


Angela said...

That is too funny! LOL Guess your Hubby can add my family to the group of weird ones, as we all have the Leader toes.

And yes, I would most certainly take the credit for that priceless moment LOL

The Rambler said...

One point for wife/mommy!


Claire said...

Awesome!! That is so cool that you can pick things up with your toes. And Kate is just so cute, and that pose makes her even cuter!

My husband has toes like yours, and me and my pathetic dwarf toes have always admired his toes. That was the first thing I checked when Laura was born. Luckily she didn't inherit my toes.

Jeanne said...

I think that's called "Morton's Foot." I guess it's a real problem for distance runners, because your second toe isn't strong enough for the stress that places on it.

Of course, if you're just going to use it, like Houdini, to do tricks and pick stuff up, it works out pretty well.

And looks really cute on little ones, like Kate!

Isabella said...

LOL. I agree with the comment's really cute on little kids. :) I have heard that a longer second toe means that we're more stubborn. I know it's true for me - how about you?

We call them spider toes or monkey toes in my household. Though, like you, I enjoy being able to do things with them that others can't - pick stuff up off the ground, play chopsticks on the piano, drink a bottle of beer...the list keeps going.

Celebrate your longer toe! :)

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! that is too funny!

i too can pick things up with my toes. i don't think it's weird at all...unless you are going to eat by this method. :)


Call Me Cate said...

Awesome. My, umm, second toe isn't longer than my big toe, but probably the same length. I'm quite skilled with my feet as well! Though I've never tried eating with them. Kate inspires me! (If only I had the flexibility to get my foot to my mouth).

The biggest reason Joe hates my toes? His toes usually have claws on them and no matter how I beg, he doesn't trim them, scratching me in bed. My response is to pinch his legs mercilessly. It's only fair, right?

C. Beth said...

GREAT pics!

On my left foot, my 2nd toe is longer than my big toe. But on my right foot they are about the same. Clearly this means I am half a leader.

Great post!!

Jodi said...

Cute post! The pics are too funny! Go Kate!

Barga said...

you know, when I was much younger, I would open the freezer, grab a popsicle, unwrap it, and put it in my mouth with just my feet

i like my large second toe

Lisa said...

ah my daughter calls it 'mums hideous feet syndrome'.

how just then that both her and her brother should be accursed with teet and toes like mine.

I can pick up anything with my toes, but probably not with the panache of sweet kate xxxx

Barb said...

Wow! Wish I could do that! LOL. She is adorable! I love reading about you and your family. Thanks for the smile. :)Barb

WPMomOf2 (jen) said...

oh my heavens, I love it!

Heather said...

If he thinks that's freakish, i wonder what he would think of the fact that my 2nd AND 3rd toe are both bigger than my big toe!

SciFi Mama said...

Ronnie has fingertoes. His sister has fingertoes. His father has fingertoes. When I was pregnant wih Paige the only thing I didn't want her to get? His fingertoes. Yeah, she got them. And has already learned to pick stuff up with them.

Chef E said...

Before kids I was coordinated like that, but never have I eaten from my toes... I hate my feet, and for the longest time would not wear sandals, because people pointed out their weird appearance, now I could care less...happens with age I guess...

Marinka said...

Fantastic! And yet another thing that I don't know how to do. Thanks a lot! ;P

CarrieAnn said...

Fingertoes run in my family. I love to pick things up with my toes. I was laughing out loud when I read this, but when I came to the pics of Kate, I think I peed myself a little....