Monday, October 6, 2008

The transition from diapers to Depends

A few years ago, a good friend mentioned that she knew she was finished having kids. Being the neurotic (thanks Megan and Sarah!), indecisive person I am, I am very intrigued with people who seem to just "know" anything. I am much more prone to changing my mind 500 times, while beating myself up every single time I attempt to firm up any decision. As I pondered her definitiveness, wondering how she came upon this realization, she blurted out, "there is just no way I could handle potty training another kid. I am totally done."

Say what? If I had to come up with a list of reasons not to have any more kids, it would be: child birth, sleepless nights, no sleep, recovery from child birth, interrupted sleep, and the lack of having an additional $600 a month to dispose of. Potty training though, are you kidding me? You could at least come up with something slightly more credible, something like stretch marks.

To reiterate my naivety, I must mention that this whole conversation occurred years before I had Kate. How wise we become in just a few short years. We are in the potty training phase at our house and I concur that it is a totally reasonable reason to halt procreation. In fact, after the past week, I can't think of a reason that would be any more credible. Right now I'd like to go back to that potty-training friend and give her a giant hug of understanding.

A few things I've learned:

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT reward your child with M&M's for going on the potty. Oh no, this will make trips to the bathroom way too enticing. During one nap, Kate conveniently had to "go potty" about five times. I hate M&M's. Even better was the night she sat on the potty for 15 minutes TRYING to go potty. When it was evident she wasn't able to go, we attempted to get her out of the bathroom. World War III ensued, as Kate screeched at the top of her lungs that SHE WAS STILL TRYING.
No amount of trying was going to squeeze pee out of an empty bladder, yet Kate was not leaving that room until she went, which would lead to the ultimate reward – M&M's. After 45 minutes of bribes, coercion, and tantrums, I sold my soul to the devil and gave her the M&M's anyway. You can imagine what that has done to my reputation around this place.

Buy your child's favorite character underwear, ours happens to be Dora. This is only because they don't make Clifford or Curious George underwear, weird kid. Now, repeatedly tell your kid that they better not pee on Dora. It's amazing what that will do. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Yes, we'll be adding more into the therapy fund for this one too.

While I can say we are making a slight amount of progress, we are far from there. I just hope her future husband doesn't mind changing diapers.


Kara said...

oh boy.. we haven't even touched potty training yet, as when I ask Abby if she wants to sit on the potty, her response is "Nooooooooooooooo", screeched in the most hideous voice you can imagine. Kudos to you for at least getting it started!!

Anonymous said...

What a great post! I love it. The M&M theory came along long after I was done with potty training. But, it tells you something about how hard it was for me too, that I always tell people the two hardest parts of raising kids were the two "trains" -- potty and driver! :)

C. Beth said...

If you become yet another blogger with a kid Chickie's age who blogs about your potty training being completed, I will hunt you down and lock you in a Wal-Mart overnight. :)

I know there are a ton of other kids Chickie's age who aren't PT'd but it seems I just hear so much about the ones that ARE. I'm afraid my jealousy issues need to be dealt with.

Good luck. Hope it goes quickly.

And I hope mine goes even MORE quickly. ;)

Mom2Pippa said...

Oh the good ole days. Potty training wasnt terrible with Piper, she actually picked it up quick. She also picked up on the fact that whe she said "I need go potty" or better yet "MOMMMY...I reeeallly mean it this time...I gotta pee!" we would stop. It didnt take long to dermine that we would most likely stop at a McDonalds. The result of this was that I firmly believe for the time Piper was 3 to almost 4 (when I finally caught on) her mission in life was to see the inside of every McDonalds on I-75. I think 1 time out of 5 she would actually have to go. The rest of the times she would announce that she tried, can she have a happy meal now?
Save youself, dont go there...dont stop someplace with a play area and a happy meal. Stop someplace not fun to hang out at. Do it for youself and the rest of us moms who know that every McDonalds bathroom looks the same.

Sidenote: They do not always have the same toys out....found this out the hard way also, when I told my darling daughter "all McDonalds have the same kids toys out" and the cashier told me "no we dont, we have a variety and can pick through the ones you already have, you can have your pick of the toys."
Thank you McDonald's cashier chickie for discrediting me in front of my 4 year old.

Lyndsay said...

It's a mixed feeling between knowing I am in good company, feeling sorry for all of us, and being glad it just isn't me :)

Anonymous said...

We went to WalMart last night. Picked out the Elmo and Zoe panties. Daddy refuses to call them panties. They are underwear. Piper insists they are panties. Daddy says, "I dont want Piper to wear underwear, she's not old enough yet." So anyways - they are in the wash now preparing for tonight...the official start of Operation Potty Time. Which happened to start right when Halloween candy came out. So we picked the biggest bag of Reese's candy ever. Daddy wants to know what happens if all the Reese's candy is gone by morning (because of his Reese's addiction) and asked why I got his favorite candy. I said hey Piper picked it out! So, tonight is the night. Last night we had a precursor. I promised her if she pee pee'd on the potty daddy would show her the potty dance. This was enough to get her diaper ripped off in 3.2 seconds and she sat on the potty for a good 15 minutes trying her hardest. She wanted to see this potty dance her daddy was going to do! So we shall see tonight. Maybe you should try to tell Kate if she pee pee's on the potty Daddy will do the potty dance. I wouldn't mention it to Craig though...

Mom2Pippa said...

You have another mom to a Piper posting on here!! Thats isnt a common name but I am hearing it more and more. Yeah for Pipers!

Anonymous said...

Don't pee on Dora? Oh, now that is funny! I'm a friend of little Kate and, now that my children are all grown up and out of the home, it is amazing how much you enjoy these precious moments. Sometimes my day is made when I get that call to watch Kate for a few hours!

When Kate is at my home, I find it amusing to put her on the potty. She strains, sometimes makes odd noises and soon enough...a little dribble. I also have in the past rewarded her with candy. Sometimes it is a cookie. I figure, that these items are fair reward for all that noise!